Definitely Not Okay

facing ugly truths and vulnerability with compassion

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Bite Back with a Toothy Vagina

Trigger warning: sexual violence in wildlife

I’ve been distressed by what I had witnessed two days ago in my backyard: a duck rape. I later learned that it is called forced copulation in scientific terms. Sure. In my anthropocentric eyes, it still looked like a fucking rape.

It happened right after a fight between two male ducks: one that had already been paired with a female duck; another who challenged to steal her. My objective was just to stop the thief, but all three of them flew away together. Another pair of male ducks rushed to the feeder and took the chance to get their share. Momentarily the female duck ran up the hill and quacked at them with rage, approximating “get the fuck away from my food!” The male ducks wouldn’t have it and quacked back. One of them got so upset he started chasing her. He pressed down his body on top of her forcefully, holding her neck with his beak...

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Why I’m Sending My Money Again

Pumasi is a Korean tradition that started as an exchange of labor in agricultural villages. The system benefited the community as a whole and worked on a high level of trust among its members. In modern days, the word evolved into any type of collective effort. For example, pumasi education refers to a circle of parents sharing their knowledge and expertise with the children from all their families.

Over the last two weeks, I have seen a new phenomenon on social media: supporting others through donations. The system has been around for a while, but the sheer volume and extent of the activity were the highest I have ever witnessed. I myself made seven payments via Paypal:

  • $10 to my friend Miss Christine for her virtual concert
  • $10 to CommUnity, a local charity that runs a food pantry and a crisis phone line
  • $5 to Brother Yusef for his live session in Virtual BluesShout
  • $5 to Ruth...

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I’m So Sick of Self-isolation

Five weeks ago, COVID-19 came into my life. The school I work at started discussing options to prevent spreading the virus, and I started communicating a potential closure to my students. At the end of that week, the decision was made: classes will resume online after a week of Spring Break.

It has been a crazy ride since then. My mental state ranged from a high level of anxiety with racing heart to a deep chasm of depression with no motivation to lift any part of my body. Both of my parents in New Jersey suffered from and survived the virus as well as my best friend in Los Angeles. My students have been expressing various kinds of stress from dealing with overwork, lack of work, fear of infection, children at home, the foreign format of online learning, and confinement at home.

I, as an extrovert, have been frustrated with the lack of socialization. I know that there is Zoom. There...

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